Monday, December 8, 2008

Twin Speak: The Joys of Job Interviews

MIA and stuck in interviews...

Frankie:
So I have been away from my desk and stuck in a room, interviewing applicants all day long for three days....How draining and exhausting.

And I have to say...from this three day stint of full on interviews my belief that 'people are not always as they seem' has been confirmed again.

Firstly, it's amazing what people put on their resume that they think will actually fly. I mean, we will find out whether or not you created your own computer software application...especially when you ask "what's an intranet"???

I had the fortunate pleasure of meeting:

'The Slow Talker" - this lovely applicant took at least 30 minutes to answer each question due to long drawling answers that never actually answered the question, and this is including the question about his name?? Considering we had 12 questions we knew we were going in for the long haul. Also, I found it hard to contain a chuckle of sarcasm when the applicant described himself as 'talkative' and 'extroverted'. I think a hermit crab was more extroverted than this guy.

Next...

'The Babbler' - this applicant was a lot more easy to interview as I was not willing myself to stay awake. However, the questions also took a turn for the lengthy side, especially when the applicant turned a question of how to manage your caseload, into how she broke up with her fiance who she lived with for 6 weeks only and who was Tongan and who didn't like the fact that she was too 'Australian'.

Next...

'The Contradiction' - There are two kinds of these applicants. The one that presents great but as soon as they open they mouth you know you have a dud and wish you could pull the fire alarm to end the interview quick smart...or version number two, the applicant that walks in looking like a bedraggled dog groomer, but says all the rights things at the right time.

Finally...

'The Aggressor' - This applicant makes you wonder why in fact did they apply for the position. Not only do they give you their pompous one word answer, but when you probe them for further clarification they look at you like an idiot and answer with, "obviously....". No, not obviously dick, because if you obviously answered it correctly the first time I wouldn't obviously be asking you again. Each new question you ask, makes them feel more challenged and defensive like they're in a police interrogation and up goes the roadblocks and more reasons to add to the "why we won't hire you list".

Ahh...a fun couple of days.

Bella: Ok Frankie....step away from the computer. You seem a little bit stressed. But I can totally sympathise with how you feel. Funnily enough we are going through the same process hiring a replacement staff member too. So far we've encountered 'The Slow Talker'...I considered throwing myself out the window, 'The Babbler' who had a massive ego and made me wonder why the hell he wasn't running Microsoft and instead applying for our entry level position and 'The Aggressor', he was very angry for some reason like we'd forced him to apply??

5 comments:

carmar76 said...

"the aggressor" would have to be the toughest applicant. I just want to stop the interview & ask them, "So, tell me exactly why you want to work for us doing this?" Which, actually, is a valid interview inquiry... hmmm... : )

Pam said...

I rarely have to interview anyone, but the one time I did, it seemed to take forever!!

Michael said...

There are some just have a low Emotional Quotient, I guess, and lack the social skills to really be precise and informative with their answers. I've never had to interview anyone (probably because I'm still a 17-year-old student) but it sounds really fun actually, even though you've made it seem like a living Hell. :)

Michael.

yolanda said...

i recently had to interview people for a job with my company, and it was a real eye opener. i couldnt believe how few people actually read the job description! one person didnt even attempt to disguise that she was applying only to get a free trip to india. in spite of us advertising for a producer, no less than two applicants were sound men.
luckily i found it mildly amusing rather than aggravating!
great blog you guys, will be stopping in!
yolanda

LittleJ said...

Hmmm... Which one of those people do I want to be when I grow up and go to interviews....