Twin Speak...Sales Assistants...what won't they say to get a sale??

Is it just me, or do the sales assistants of today seem to be getting dumber and dumber? I can't believe some of the things people will say in retail to either make a sale or keep one??

Frankie: Now I know I shouldn't generalise the entire 'retail community' because I have also been served by selling superstars. But let's face it. They're a dying breed. Today, it's more likely that you'll be served by young and very naive shop assistants.

For example, I will give you some of the latest retail escapades I have encountered and walked out shaking my head in total disbelief.

Shop One:

I recently bought a leather jacket and noticed that the cuff on one of the sleeves was all crushed and very thin and wearing through. Now, I know leather is an imperfect fabric and there will be differences in the leather. However, this looked more like a manufacturers flaw. Like for example, when I once saw a jacket which had the sheep branding stamp on the arm of the jacket??? Flaw I think so!!!

So I went to see if I could get an exchange of the jacket for another one but the shop assistant was adamant that the jacket was fine and that it was the natural look of the jacket? His explanation went something like this:

Shop Assistant:"Um have you ever bought a leather jacket before.
Me: Not a jacket but many other leather items like bags and shoes.
Shop Assistant: Oh well then, you probably aren't that familiar with leather then. You see, this is just the natural look of the jacket. The sheep this piece of leather came from probably lent up against a barb wire fence and hurt itself and scared it's skin. Or it could have even had a fight with another sheep. Yep, there's nothing wrong with this jacket
Me: You're a fucking idiot!!

Shop Two:
I walked into a shop and noticed this gorgeous silver bag that was perched on a very high stand so I couldn't actually touch the product. I asked the shop assistant if it was leather (yes, I like my leather products) and she replied,

Shop assistant: Um, well I don't think it's leather because, um there aren't any silver cows so um I think it is Pleather??
Me: Oh ok, thanks then?? (walking out the store and thinking in my head, "right, well it's news to me that there a paddocks full of cows running around with Louis Vuitton monograms all over their ass)????

What has happened to decent service and information these days????

Bella: Well I don't think this is bad customer service so much as just really stupid people. I recently read about a new environmental epidemic which could be the contributing factor to this. It's called the 'Bozone Layer'.

Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating.
Use: The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.

Twin Speak...The Human Parrot!

When it comes to people repeating themselves I can get slightly irritated. Human Parrots!!! Parroting and repeating themselves all day long...

Frankie: My partner's mum, Susan, has this habit of repeating herself or repeating what someone else says ALL THE TIME!!!

We had a get-together lunch the other day. We had steak, prawns, rice and salad. It was all very nice and everyone commented on the delicious spread, especially Susan. That's right! I shit you not...she repeated herself 7 unbearable times that the salad was lovely!!! "This salad is lovely, it goes great when you mix it with rice!" And just in case you didn't catch it, "This salad is lovely, it goes great when you mix it with rice!"

In the space of 20 minutes, she repeated at separate occasions the above phrase. It was ridiculous!!! What possesses a person to act like a parrot and repeat themselves that many times. Now, before you think of me as some cruel hearted person, she's not old, so it is not Alzheimer's. She is not mentally unstable. So WHY must she always repeat herself.

It drives me insane. After the 5th time she said it, I started praying that it was the last time I was going to hear how fucking fantastic the salad was. But no, I was lucky enough to hear it a 6th time and the 7th time, I involuntarily dropped my fork in frustration.

Her another annoying habit is repeating what another person says. For example, we were all gathered at my partner's sister's house, we were all about to eat and the sister says, "everybody help themselves and start eating", and then on queue, Sally repeats, "everybody help themselves and start eating". Umm, hello, is there an echo in the room. Didn't someone just say that...

God, it's so annoying. I really try, I really do...but I just can't find a way ignore this one annoying habit!!!

Bella: I also find it annoying when people repeat themselves but not in the same sense as Frankie. I don't mind so much when someone repeats what they say in direct conversation with you. My husband's a bit of a ramble talker and often repeats himself or goes over small details in his conversation to get a point across.

What annoys me is when people constantly say and repeat what they are going to do, achieve, get to, over and over again. I don't think there is a character trait that annoys me more than....procrastinating!

I think I feel so strongly about it because at the moment I work in an environment where my superior is a bit of a procrastinator. I feel like we are forever having these endless meetings to discuss, discuss, discuss but we NEVER put into action anything we discuss. It shits me to tears! I get so over talking about things and I just want to do it. I am the kind of person where I will say what I'm going to do and then do it! Sometimes I just want to shake people by the shoulders when I here them saying about their life that they just didn't get round to it...or I was gonna do this and I was gonna do that. I just want to yell in their face "Suck it UP and get on with it!!".

Yeah..that annoys me a bit :)

Weird and Wonderful Weather

I arrived to work this morning to view these amazing pictures displayed on a news report online.

Sydney's Walsh Bay covered with dust.

Dust storm blankets Sydney. Two lone walkers on the beach.

Sydney's Bondi Beach

Red Sky

Bella: These images are of Sydney, Australia being covered in an amazing red dust storm. It's not everyday that a phenomenal natural occurrence like this happens and I found these images simply breathtaking. Almost apocalyptic but thankfully no harm done other than poor visibility in the city and a blanket layer of red dust over Sydney.

When I view images like this of the natural wonders happening around us it always makes me stop and appreciate the power of the world we live in. Unfortunately not all natural weather events like this are harmless as we know but I'm still awed by it's magnificence.

Twin Speak: System Crash!

Why is it that we have come to expect computers to have system crashes and therefore need regular maintenance and updates, yet when it comes to people, we're so unforgiving sometimes and expect so much more from one another??

Frankie: Every now and then I get to a point in my life where I need to take a step back, reevaluate and refocus my attention. I can sometimes let everything overwhelm me and get the better of me. It's one of my bad habits...dwelling on the negative and letting it get me down.

Occasionally, I need to 'reboot' my system and restart the system. However, I find that people can be so callous and unforgiving when it comes to the human error. The human need to relax, recoup and regenerate our strength.

I came to the point where I was overwhelmed by work, life stresses and other personal issues. My work and life balance was in disarray and hence leaving me to make bad judgments and errors at work, but did I get any understanding when I needed a break. No!

How come, it is totally acceptable to expect system crashes from our computers, the very hard drive we work off yet when it comes to human crashes, we are considered inadequate, performing poorly or in need of additional training rather than simply accepting that we all need to take a break every now and then and reevaluate our priorities and commitments.

Has it come to the point where we treat our 'computers' better than our human assets?? Are we desensitized to human error because of the advance of technology, convenience and the assistance of our silly computers?

Bella: We are our own harshest critics and I think the expectations placed on us in our lives and in today's society are becoming very hard to meet. We need to work longer hours, to pay bigger mortgages, to send our kids to better schools, to buy more modern amenities to make our life easier, only to have no time to use them or enjoy them because we're too busy doing other chores and housework because it's the only time we have!

It does get overwhelming sometimes. When you're constantly thinking how you're going to keep your head above water especially in these uncertain times.

But, I do take comfort and am grateful for everything I do have because I know that there is always a family or a person doing it tougher than I am. I feel for these people and can only imagine how much harder life really can be for some. For people that have no work at all or no prospects on the horizon, for families with sick children or family members to take care of, for people who have no mortgage to pay because the bank took their home or to people who simply can't afford to eat.

So I say, have your little system crash and your spak attack because you'll probably feel better after, take some time out but then go back out there with your head held high and know that you can only do what you can do and that's the best you can expect from yourself :)

The Book Club...

Recently, Bella and I started a book club. We love our books and thankfully found some friends who also share a strong interest in reading. Well, after our second meeting we realized that nearly all avid readers, have one way or another had a life altering book experience or have an absolute favourite book that would be on the top of a “Things I would take with me in a house fire’ list.

So we thought we would share with you our all time favourite book and why..

Frankie: The Bronze Horseman – Paullina Simons

I fell in love with the characters of this war/love epic. Now, normally I would not have picked this book up. For two reasons, I am not a love story fan and I find war novels depressing. The age old adage, ‘Don’t judge a book by its cover’ prevented me from ever picking up this goodie. But thankfully I did. I was so engrossed by the story of these two love struck kids during the tragedy of war that I began to wonder…”Is there really love like that out there??”

I love this book for two reason:

1. The story, hardship and triumphs of these two characters was heartwarming

2. It opened my eyes to 2 whole new genres and let me be more open minded with my book choices

And best of all this series is a Trilogy :)

Bella: The Bronze Horseman – Paullina Simons

Yes. We actually do both have the same all time favourite book. The only difference being that this would not be on the top of my "thing to take in a house fire" list because Frankie actually has my copy :) And I'm still waiting for it's return...ahem...Frankie.

I loved this book like no other I've ever read. Pretty big statement I know. It was moving, emotional and deeply touching. If you haven't read this book you should. I think it was beautiful.

TwinSpeak: When You Feel Ripped Off

Have you ever purchased something and it turns out you didn't get what you paid for? When you have really high expectations about something and then you are bitterly disappointed by what you receive and just feel plain ripped off?

Bella: I am pretty much a chocolate addict. I love, love, love it. On the weekend, I noticed a new flavour of Kit Kat Chunky. Kit Kat Chunky Cookies and Cream!! I love Kit Kat Chunkies and I love Cookies and Cream. It was my ultimate dream chocolate bar. Or so I thought.

With all the anticipation of a five year old opening their Christmas presents from Santa, I opened my chocolate bar only to find that it was a defect!! Sub standard and a reject at best. It should have never passed the Kit Kat quality test. Half the top of the chocolate bar was missing, leaving a crumbly mess of wafer. Then when I bit into it, it got worse! Half the actual cookies and cream filling was also missing! It was like this little guy tried to escape off the conveyor belt and missed half the process only to be packaged up and sent away as is.

So what to do??? I emailed Nestle to inform them of my customer dissatisfaction complete with photos. I was of course hoping that I would get a full box of Kit Kats for my trouble. Instead I was offered a cheque for $1.20 to replace the cost of the Kit Kat. It would cost me more in petrol, time and effort to just cash the cheque!

Oh well you can't win them all :)

Frankie: Well, I recently experienced a bad eBay purchase. You have to be careful of those shifty sellers on eBay and normally I am. I bought this beautiful dress, or so I thought, on eBay. The photo displaying the dress looked like a professional clipping from a magazine. I asked the seller if the dress is the exact same style, brand etc as in the picture and I was told yes. So for $50, I thought I was getting a bargain buy.

Fast forward 2 weeks later and I get my supposed designer dress. Not only was it a knock off version, the quality was abysmal. I've bought knock-off items before and you'd be pretty hard pressed to pick up the original and imitation in a line up. However, this imitation was a joke. It was made from some cheap polyester fabric, there were stitches loose down the side of the dress, what looked to be a shoe print on the hem of the dress and I swear it had been worn...to top it off, the dress was advertised as green and the one I got was a grey???

So yes, I felt mighty ripped and pissed off. I had to send the horrible item back to the seller I bought it from and was out of pocket $10 to post the hideous thing back. So beware people of dodgy sellers out there.

TwinSpeak...When times are tough

With all this talk of recession and the hard economic situation around the world, I often wonder how some people are managing. What do people do to get by from day to day. How do you save a buck when times are tough?

Bella: I ask this question of myself often. How can I save money? Where can I cut down on my spending? What can I sacrifice? Like the other day, I only bought one pair of Tony Bianco shoes instead of two :) On a serious note though I have become more conscious of things like, meal planning and organising meals in advance. Rather than just wait until the evening and then decide what to cook or go out and get something, I've become more organised in planning ahead and shopping for exactly what I need. I've started turning off appliances around the house of an evening or when I know they're not going to be used for awhile and even turn of the modem connection. I make sure to turn off lights when no one is in the room. I don't know if these things save a great deal money but it can't hurt.

Today I was in McDonalds and I noticed something that made me laugh.

There was a gentleman who had setup his laptop and was using the free WiFi. Not unusual, No. Until I noticed he had also setup his gigantic printer on the table next to him! He also had his mouse and mouse pad and what looked like a month's worth of paperwork on the table next to him. I assume he was catching up on his Internet banking and downloads??

Would you go that far to save a buck??? Me, personally, no I wouldn't.

I decided to dub this man Terri the Tightarse :)