Thursday, October 22, 2009

Twin Speak...Sales Assistants...what won't they say to get a sale??

Is it just me, or do the sales assistants of today seem to be getting dumber and dumber? I can't believe some of the things people will say in retail to either make a sale or keep one??

Frankie: Now I know I shouldn't generalise the entire 'retail community' because I have also been served by selling superstars. But let's face it. They're a dying breed. Today, it's more likely that you'll be served by young and very naive shop assistants.

For example, I will give you some of the latest retail escapades I have encountered and walked out shaking my head in total disbelief.

Shop One:

I recently bought a leather jacket and noticed that the cuff on one of the sleeves was all crushed and very thin and wearing through. Now, I know leather is an imperfect fabric and there will be differences in the leather. However, this looked more like a manufacturers flaw. Like for example, when I once saw a jacket which had the sheep branding stamp on the arm of the jacket??? Flaw I think so!!!

So I went to see if I could get an exchange of the jacket for another one but the shop assistant was adamant that the jacket was fine and that it was the natural look of the jacket? His explanation went something like this:

Shop Assistant:"Um have you ever bought a leather jacket before.
Me: Not a jacket but many other leather items like bags and shoes.
Shop Assistant: Oh well then, you probably aren't that familiar with leather then. You see, this is just the natural look of the jacket. The sheep this piece of leather came from probably lent up against a barb wire fence and hurt itself and scared it's skin. Or it could have even had a fight with another sheep. Yep, there's nothing wrong with this jacket
Me: You're a fucking idiot!!

Shop Two:
I walked into a shop and noticed this gorgeous silver bag that was perched on a very high stand so I couldn't actually touch the product. I asked the shop assistant if it was leather (yes, I like my leather products) and she replied,

Shop assistant: Um, well I don't think it's leather because, um there aren't any silver cows so um I think it is Pleather??
Me: Oh ok, thanks then?? (walking out the store and thinking in my head, "right, well it's news to me that there a paddocks full of cows running around with Louis Vuitton monograms all over their ass)????

What has happened to decent service and information these days????

Bella: Well I don't think this is bad customer service so much as just really stupid people. I recently read about a new environmental epidemic which could be the contributing factor to this. It's called the 'Bozone Layer'.

Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating.
Use: The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.